Part 2:
“First things first," began Dr. Hulse. “Please, select a hairstyle."
“A style?" asked our aunt.
“We have two-hundred programmed in the database.”
Aunt Beanie reviewed the options and decided.
“Very good. Modern yet classic. And perfect color choice."
“Why, thank you."
“Now, just lie down in the Follicizer … ”
The Follicizer.
A domed, octagonal headpiece, as if a huge crown, sat atop a long tube.
Blinking lights flashed in cadence.
Wires flowed to computers.
Imagine an MRI device crossed with a mechanical coffin.
Aunt Beanie did not take one step toward the machine.
“Don’t be scared,” Dr. Hulse said. “The HulseTech safety sensors shut it down within a millimeter of human skin.”
“Zit iz perfectly zafe,” said a voice from the back. “Zat, I can attezt."
“A style?" asked our aunt.
“We have two-hundred programmed in the database.”
Aunt Beanie reviewed the options and decided.
“Very good. Modern yet classic. And perfect color choice."
“Why, thank you."
“Now, just lie down in the Follicizer … ”
The Follicizer.
A domed, octagonal headpiece, as if a huge crown, sat atop a long tube.
Blinking lights flashed in cadence.
Wires flowed to computers.
Imagine an MRI device crossed with a mechanical coffin.
Aunt Beanie did not take one step toward the machine.
“Don’t be scared,” Dr. Hulse said. “The HulseTech safety sensors shut it down within a millimeter of human skin.”
“Zit iz perfectly zafe,” said a voice from the back. “Zat, I can attezt."
A gawky man with bright blonde hair came forward.
His hair rose into a towering pompadour!
It looked ridiculous atop his bland, potato head, but on sheer craft it was quite impressive.
“My assistant, Barlow.”
Aunt Beanie’s stiff face dissolved in awe.
“May I … may I touch it?”
“I would be honored. Ze Follicizer doez good work, no?”
“Like a movie star,” she cooed. “Like Mason Harfingell!”
Old-time actor? Long-lost boyfriend? We never found out.
But his memory got her into the Follicizer.
His hair rose into a towering pompadour!
It looked ridiculous atop his bland, potato head, but on sheer craft it was quite impressive.
“My assistant, Barlow.”
Aunt Beanie’s stiff face dissolved in awe.
“May I … may I touch it?”
“I would be honored. Ze Follicizer doez good work, no?”
“Like a movie star,” she cooed. “Like Mason Harfingell!”
Old-time actor? Long-lost boyfriend? We never found out.
But his memory got her into the Follicizer.
“Program online, initiating ze conztruct pattern."
“Excellent."
“Golden cheztnut iz the color our zubject has requezted.”
“Correct."
“Toner palate iz activated … color loading … we have ze perfect match.”
“Cuticle density, Barlow?”
“Point eight five, Doctor.”
“Would you say a clay or crème groom?”
“I believe ze crème groom to be appropriate.”
“I concur. Ready the crème injector, please.”
“Very good, Doctor.”
Barlow darted around with prim efficiency; Dr. Hulse moved like a champion figure skater. They spoke only when needed.
Rick and I stood to the side and watched the drama play out.
“Is this what he taught in school?”
“No,” I said, “general principles, basic stuff. This is great! They’re solving problems in new ways.”
“He does show a lot of passion, I’ll say that for him.”
The sheer effort of the scientists was undeniable.
And as the procedure continued, their workload only increased.
Increased a lot.
More and more we saw them speaking in hushed tones.
Barlow’s face displayed a gloss of sweat; Hulse frowned as his eyes scanned new data.
“Excuse me, is everything all right?” Rick called out.
“Ah yes, the family,” Dr. Hulse said. “We have, at present, some difficulties. Your aunt is safe. Just a few system problems.”
“Excellent."
“Golden cheztnut iz the color our zubject has requezted.”
“Correct."
“Toner palate iz activated … color loading … we have ze perfect match.”
“Cuticle density, Barlow?”
“Point eight five, Doctor.”
“Would you say a clay or crème groom?”
“I believe ze crème groom to be appropriate.”
“I concur. Ready the crème injector, please.”
“Very good, Doctor.”
Barlow darted around with prim efficiency; Dr. Hulse moved like a champion figure skater. They spoke only when needed.
Rick and I stood to the side and watched the drama play out.
“Is this what he taught in school?”
“No,” I said, “general principles, basic stuff. This is great! They’re solving problems in new ways.”
“He does show a lot of passion, I’ll say that for him.”
The sheer effort of the scientists was undeniable.
And as the procedure continued, their workload only increased.
Increased a lot.
More and more we saw them speaking in hushed tones.
Barlow’s face displayed a gloss of sweat; Hulse frowned as his eyes scanned new data.
“Excuse me, is everything all right?” Rick called out.
“Ah yes, the family,” Dr. Hulse said. “We have, at present, some difficulties. Your aunt is safe. Just a few system problems.”
Without another word, Dr. Hulse turned and resumed working.
“These chemical statements are still all wrong. Peroxide looks acceptable, but towlestine and vinidine show grave errors.”
“Ze hair zhaft and cortex layerz remain beyond normal levelz.”
“Volume infusers are bouncing hideous feedback. Dye patterns are offline. I’ve got error messages I’ve never seen before.”
“Doctor, we have control problems at ze crown! Ze hair relaxers are not working!”
“Give me fifty CCs of sodium hydroxide, stat!”
Barlow rushed a syringe to Hulse, who jabbed it into a squared stem connecting twin hoses.
Steam blew from a nearby apparatus. A horrible scent descended.
At first it smelled of burnt pickles and motor oil, morphing into a blast of ammonia.
The air purifiers quickly lifted the stench away.
But ... just what was happening to her hair?
“These chemical statements are still all wrong. Peroxide looks acceptable, but towlestine and vinidine show grave errors.”
“Ze hair zhaft and cortex layerz remain beyond normal levelz.”
“Volume infusers are bouncing hideous feedback. Dye patterns are offline. I’ve got error messages I’ve never seen before.”
“Doctor, we have control problems at ze crown! Ze hair relaxers are not working!”
“Give me fifty CCs of sodium hydroxide, stat!”
Barlow rushed a syringe to Hulse, who jabbed it into a squared stem connecting twin hoses.
Steam blew from a nearby apparatus. A horrible scent descended.
At first it smelled of burnt pickles and motor oil, morphing into a blast of ammonia.
The air purifiers quickly lifted the stench away.
But ... just what was happening to her hair?