Part 1:
Uh … hello?
Testing.
One-two-three, testing, testing.
This is Dale.
Hello.
Josephine asked me if I wanted to say anything.
You know, ‘on-the-record.’
Like a statement or a speech or whatever.
She even got a recorder and said to talk about whatever I want.
Her plan is to take what I say and transcribe it word for word.
No changes or nothin’.
Verbatim.
She's always jotting notes about our cases and escapades.
I guess now she wants to get my point-of-view.
But she knows my view, her and Rick know me better than anyone.
Right?
Testing.
One-two-three, testing, testing.
This is Dale.
Hello.
Josephine asked me if I wanted to say anything.
You know, ‘on-the-record.’
Like a statement or a speech or whatever.
She even got a recorder and said to talk about whatever I want.
Her plan is to take what I say and transcribe it word for word.
No changes or nothin’.
Verbatim.
She's always jotting notes about our cases and escapades.
I guess now she wants to get my point-of-view.
But she knows my view, her and Rick know me better than anyone.
Right?
Still, this recorder is pretty nice.
I’d hate to seem ungrateful.
Although it’s kinda weird talking to a machine and all.
Let me set the scene: right now I’m in the dining room.
It’s a sunny day, rays are streaming through some clouds.
Early October and the leaves have started to change.
A little wind is rustling in the trees.
Wait a minute, what is this? A weather report?
That's Josie's thing, not mine.
Can I start over?
I’m think I'm gonna start over.
I’d hate to seem ungrateful.
Although it’s kinda weird talking to a machine and all.
Let me set the scene: right now I’m in the dining room.
It’s a sunny day, rays are streaming through some clouds.
Early October and the leaves have started to change.
A little wind is rustling in the trees.
Wait a minute, what is this? A weather report?
That's Josie's thing, not mine.
Can I start over?
I’m think I'm gonna start over.
Check, check.
Take two.
Check.
Talking into a microphone is hard!
I’m better at real conversations.
OK, this is Dale speaking. Hello.
Josie bought me a recorder and asked me for my point-of-view.
But she knows my view, her and Rick know me better than anyone.
This is all gonna get transcribed, word for word.
And, uh ... yeah.
You know, I’m not sure this is my type of thing.
Whoa – what kind of bird is that down there?
Like a pheasant? Or a weird blue jay?
Looks like a crow had a baby with a pigeon.
Take two.
Check.
Talking into a microphone is hard!
I’m better at real conversations.
OK, this is Dale speaking. Hello.
Josie bought me a recorder and asked me for my point-of-view.
But she knows my view, her and Rick know me better than anyone.
This is all gonna get transcribed, word for word.
And, uh ... yeah.
You know, I’m not sure this is my type of thing.
Whoa – what kind of bird is that down there?
Like a pheasant? Or a weird blue jay?
Looks like a crow had a baby with a pigeon.
You know, maybe I’ll quit with the small talk.
Because my small talk seems absolutely miniscule.
But I got this recorder here, might as well use it.
That bird, hmm, all white-gray.
It reminds me of something.
Of a story.
You know what? I'll tell a story.
And I got a story ... nobody knows.
First off, this thing I’m gonna share: it wasn’t my fault.
That’s important.
I’m the hero of the story.
That’s not to say Colin is the bad guy.
Remember him? Semi-Colon. Became human. Lives with us.
Great dude.
And sure, this was kinda all his fault, yeah.
But he didn’t know any better.
He didn’t know that goats make terrible house pets.
Because my small talk seems absolutely miniscule.
But I got this recorder here, might as well use it.
That bird, hmm, all white-gray.
It reminds me of something.
Of a story.
You know what? I'll tell a story.
And I got a story ... nobody knows.
First off, this thing I’m gonna share: it wasn’t my fault.
That’s important.
I’m the hero of the story.
That’s not to say Colin is the bad guy.
Remember him? Semi-Colon. Became human. Lives with us.
Great dude.
And sure, this was kinda all his fault, yeah.
But he didn’t know any better.
He didn’t know that goats make terrible house pets.