Part 2:
My long night showed me truths.
My long night, I realized, was a test.
I just needed to get scared again.
If I fell asleep, we were all dead.
I imagined defeat at the dragon’s teeth.
I imagined being eaten alive.
I imagined Joacquil’s pain at losing her eggs.
I imagined ... my parents?
Just how they would then feel?
When they learned the truth.
When they learned I’d been deceitful about my plans.
About the fact I would eschew a life of carpet.
That I'd pretended and played a role.
Always headed for a secret life of weather.
And in that moment, I knew.
I knew I had to be honest.
I was not Dresda Kul-Vayn.
Not a trickster, not a deceiver.
I was Josephine Hatcher-Hyung.
And I needed to tell them the truth.
The truth that I could never work at the carpet store.
That I loved weather, and my life my life would be devoted to its study.
They needed to understand.
And I had to fight for what I wanted.
I’d survived a trip to the Alphabet, faced super criminals, and burgled a bus garage.
I’d gone toe-to-toe with a witch!
I was fearless, in my way.
Even if my best hope, at the moment, involved embracing fear.
My long night, I realized, was a test.
I just needed to get scared again.
If I fell asleep, we were all dead.
I imagined defeat at the dragon’s teeth.
I imagined being eaten alive.
I imagined Joacquil’s pain at losing her eggs.
I imagined ... my parents?
Just how they would then feel?
When they learned the truth.
When they learned I’d been deceitful about my plans.
About the fact I would eschew a life of carpet.
That I'd pretended and played a role.
Always headed for a secret life of weather.
And in that moment, I knew.
I knew I had to be honest.
I was not Dresda Kul-Vayn.
Not a trickster, not a deceiver.
I was Josephine Hatcher-Hyung.
And I needed to tell them the truth.
The truth that I could never work at the carpet store.
That I loved weather, and my life my life would be devoted to its study.
They needed to understand.
And I had to fight for what I wanted.
I’d survived a trip to the Alphabet, faced super criminals, and burgled a bus garage.
I’d gone toe-to-toe with a witch!
I was fearless, in my way.
Even if my best hope, at the moment, involved embracing fear.
My long night showed me the errors of my ways.
I had a sword, and my family, and a heart beating wild and strong.
Perhaps a monster lurked nearby.
But so what?
Maybe imaginary monsters always loomed.
In every strange and uncertain situation.
Worries clawing at our minds, convincing us doom is approaching.
I worked on fighting off my intrusive thoughts.
Repeating over and over they were not real.
Yes, truth be told, a dragon might be forming its attack.
Ready to pounce and kill.
And then again ... maybe not.
Either way, that part was out of my control.
But I could be ready, and fight hard, and do my best.
I had to rely on myself.
Because that was all I had.
For good or bad, I was alone.
Until the moment the moon came out.
I had a sword, and my family, and a heart beating wild and strong.
Perhaps a monster lurked nearby.
But so what?
Maybe imaginary monsters always loomed.
In every strange and uncertain situation.
Worries clawing at our minds, convincing us doom is approaching.
I worked on fighting off my intrusive thoughts.
Repeating over and over they were not real.
Yes, truth be told, a dragon might be forming its attack.
Ready to pounce and kill.
And then again ... maybe not.
Either way, that part was out of my control.
But I could be ready, and fight hard, and do my best.
I had to rely on myself.
Because that was all I had.
For good or bad, I was alone.
Until the moment the moon came out.
Until then, I had seen barely a hint of light.
And then suddenly?
As if a dramatic production?
The curtains went up, the theater came to life.
Oh, the moon!
A solar presence to join me on my lonely watch.
The universe telling me to relax, to be easy, to be calm.
I reclined and welcomed the moon's light.
Like a visit from a friend!
It seemed like a good omen.
It seemed just what I needed.
Until.
I realized ... it only made things worse.
The moon's silvery presence?
It casted shadows everywhere!
The half-light abounded, flickering and tricking my eye.
Danger lurked and loomed from every corner.
The moonlight made had the forest gape like a mouth.
Jaws open wide.
Hungry and gaping.
And then suddenly?
As if a dramatic production?
The curtains went up, the theater came to life.
Oh, the moon!
A solar presence to join me on my lonely watch.
The universe telling me to relax, to be easy, to be calm.
I reclined and welcomed the moon's light.
Like a visit from a friend!
It seemed like a good omen.
It seemed just what I needed.
Until.
I realized ... it only made things worse.
The moon's silvery presence?
It casted shadows everywhere!
The half-light abounded, flickering and tricking my eye.
Danger lurked and loomed from every corner.
The moonlight made had the forest gape like a mouth.
Jaws open wide.
Hungry and gaping.
No, no, I said to myself, that was wrong.
My thoughts were mistaken.
Shadows were not the problem.
Shadows were better that utter darkness.
The light felt better than the dark.
And that old moon? It was on my side.
For the moon controlled the tides.
The moon influenced weather!
The moon and I shared a bond.
And its light was an elixir from the sky.
Giving me the added element I needed for dragon observation.
I could see better than ever!
I could successfully navigate the path ahead.
My long night, so scary and dark, had at last opened my eyes.
My thoughts were mistaken.
Shadows were not the problem.
Shadows were better that utter darkness.
The light felt better than the dark.
And that old moon? It was on my side.
For the moon controlled the tides.
The moon influenced weather!
The moon and I shared a bond.
And its light was an elixir from the sky.
Giving me the added element I needed for dragon observation.
I could see better than ever!
I could successfully navigate the path ahead.
My long night, so scary and dark, had at last opened my eyes.